New Grandma Advice

For the first time in my life, when I became a mum I really appreciated my own mum properly .  Straight away when she came to meet my new baby son I realised I never even thanked her for giving birth to me.  And during the next few weeks I kept realising - mums just don't get appreciated enough.  During my 10 months so far as a new mum, my own mum has given me lots of advice (taken and ignored in equal measured!).  But above all, she has been brilliant at reassuring me I am doing things right, and reminding me it's ok to do things my way.

So I asked my mum to do a guest appearance on my blog to share her tips on what to do (and what not to do!) as a new granny.  I asked her to write about supporting your daughter or daughter-in-law in actively embracing motherhood.  We'd love to hear back from other new grannies and their daughters about what you've found works for you. 

Introducing Mrs Denise Taylor
Grandma (+Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister)

Becoming a Grandma was one of the most joyous events of my whole life. Everyone tells you how wonderful it is but nothing can prepare the new granny about the tidal wave of of love that engulfs you. It brought back all  the emotions and anxieties of many years ago when I become a mum.

But you know, you don't ever stop being a mum and you never, ever stop worrying about your children. Naturally you want to do anything you can to help and guide the new family through the first joyful and chaotic days when everything is new, exciting and often stressful.  Of course, new grannies you have to get the advice level exactly right (I was lucky as I had Auntie Charlotte, Katy's sister, to tell me when I was overstepping the mark!).

I have seen that happy contented babies often have fit, healthy mums who look after themselves.  I also know though how sensitive new mums are to any conversation about their own physical state.  I've not always got it 100% right but my aim is to support and encourage.

After the birth there are so many things to worry about and although all new mums wonder if they will ever achieve their pre pregnancy state again, it's all too easy for them to forget themselves. Getting your figure back is such a boost to self esteem and I've loved seeing Katy feeling so good about herself again.  She and her fellow mums doing her Ready Steady Mums programme are a real inspiration.

So my fellow grannies, although you know your own daughter; it's a very sensitive time; and no new granny has the same experience... my little nuggets of experience may give you some ideas for how to offer support.

1. Ask her lots of questions about how she plans to approach motherhood and respect what she says
2. Tell her she's amazing as often as you can
3. Buy her accessories as presents rather than clothes, they don't have a size
4. Encourage her to take guilt-free time to care for herself - she might not believe it but it'll make her a better mother and a more interesting person
5. Offer granny-help so she can spend quality time with baby's dad
6. Remind her to do her pelvic floor exercises
7. Take the initiative (assemble the pram, find the coats and shoes) to get outside for a walk with your daughter and new baby
8. Greet your daughter before you hug and kiss your grandchild (perhaps this one is a bit too difficult!)
9. Write a blog for your daughter even if you don't know what a blog is