Inspiration

A truly inspiring mum approached me recently, and shared her personal story of motherhood so far. I was moved by how Heather Von James is still battling serious illness to treasure every moment with her daughter, husband and community of loved ones. I am delighted that she has agreed to be a guest writer on my blog today. Here is her story.

Heather:
My village, My journey

Lily was born August 4th, 2005. My pregnancy had been mostly uneventful with no complications - not even morning sickness. After finding out she was breech, we made the decision to have a C-section. Things went perfectly, and in a matter of minutes, we had a healthy baby girl. Surrounded by our closest family and friends, things couldn't have been better. Nothing could have prepared us for what happened next.

I stayed home with my sweet Lily for four weeks following her arrival. Before her birth, I was part owner of a successful salon, running one of three stores. When I returned to work, I moved to a different store which, although further away from my daughter, meant the work should be easier.

...But within a month of being a working mom, I started experiencing exhaustion, breathlessness and a lack of energy. These were just symptoms of being a new mom, right? Soon I started losing weight, a lot of weight - five to seven pounds per week. I knew something was wrong.

In November, I went to my doctor where we did a series of blood work and an x-ray. The problem? There was fluid buildup around my left lung. After additional tests, we had an official diagnosis.

November 21, 2005, just three and a half months after giving birth, I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma - cancer in the lining of my lungs caused by asbestos exposure, which I had experienced thirty years prior as a child.

Lily - my thoughts went straight to her. Without treatment, I only had fifteen months to live, but the idea of Lily being motherless or my husband being a widow was too much to bear. I would do whatever it took to survive.

In January, my husband and I flew to Boston. In February, I underwent extrapleural pneumonectomy - a surgery that required the removal of my left lung, the surrounding tissue, my lymph nodes, the left side of my diaphragm, the lining of my heart and one of my ribs. My diaphragm and heart lining were replaced with surgical Gore-Tex, a synthetic graft. After a heated chemo wash to further eradicate cancer, I began my recovery counting down the days to the next step: chemotherapy and radiation.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was a new mom; I should've been home with my baby girl.

Instead of being there to introduce her to solids and watch her scoot and roll, I was reduced to having to see her milestones in the grainy, black and white emailed photos my husband printed from a community printer. I still swooned over each image, as did the nurses beside me, but I couldn't help but feel heartbroken.

All this time we were in Boston, Lily had been living with my parents in my childhood hometown in South Dakota surrounded by love and support from the entire community. Girls I had babysat as a teenager, now grown and married with children of their own, volunteered to watch Lily while my parents went to their full time jobs. Friends from church whom I had grown up with and looked up to lent their help without second thought. In Boston, we were meeting people in similar situations and creating lifelong friendships. Though in separate places, Lily, my husband and I were in the best possible hands.

Heather with her family

It's been five years, and the thought that comes to my mind is, "Cancer is a funny thing." Through so much bad came so much good. My parents created a bond with Lily that runs so deep the miles and time between visits have no effect. Our entire village - Lily's Aunt Debbie, her grandma, her cousins, my parents and their friends - is who we thank for the amazing child she is growing to be. With a gentle heart and an old soul, Lily is a generous child ready to give the way so many gave to us. Because of them and because of our faith - in God and the belief that everything would turn out okay - we are here today. You can read more of my story on my personal blog.

I never could go back to work. After all, having one lung makes things considerably difficult, but being a stay at home mom to Lily has been the greatest blessing. Together we are all learning to truly embrace life and its wonders. We camp, we boat, we play and we try not to take things too seriously. We know how fragile life can be, and we aren't letting a single moment go to waste.